Or are you simply undiagnosed?
I bet there’s something “wrong” with most of you. But before you get offended, let’s get this straight: research says at least 1 in 7 people in the UK are neurodivergent (University of Edinburgh), and that’s just the ones lucky enough to have a diagnosis. Studies suggest the real figure is at least double, maybe even triple, which means the rest are out here living life being told they’re lazy, messy, weird, or thick, when actually, their brains are just running a different operating system.
Think back to school, the kid who couldn’t sit still, always tapping their pen, staring out the window, told off for not concentrating? ADHD. Your mate who stays up until 3am rewriting an essay because that’s literally the only time his brain switches on? ADHD again. The office clown who never reads out loud because letters scrambled themselves on the page? Dyslexia, 10% (20-30%) of the UK has it (British Dyslexia Association).Not stupid or slow, just wired that way.
Autism gets hidden under “quirky.” The girl who had a meltdown when the timetable changed. Your cousin, obsessed with dinosaurs or trains to a level that makes the rest of the family roll their eyes. Friend, who still panics if her routine is slightly changed, feeling like her life smashed apart. None of that is being awkward, it’s autistic wiring trying to keep the world in order.
And then there’s dyscalculia and dyspraxia. Can’t do times tables no matter how hard you try? Numbers feel like a foreign language? That’s dyscalculia (Butterworth, 2010). Always called clumsy, bad at sports, messy handwriting? Dyspraxia. Both sit at about 6% (so probably 20%) of the population.
What made me think about it was my highly intelligent and educated, ADHD and autism diagnosed mate who told me he can only write his academic work when there’s chaos around him. The messier the better. At first I thought he was joking, then it hit me - I’m wired the same way. I get more productive when the atmosphere is alive and busy. Stick me in silence and peace, and my focus drifts like smoke, that’s not being weird or disorganised, it’s how some brains spark.
Here’s the fucked up bit: most of these people (and maybe you) went through school being told you weren’t good enough. Teachers labelled you disruptive, mates laughed, adults compared you to “normal” kids. That sticks. You carry it into adulthood thinking you’re behind everyone else, thick, lazy, or just a bit of a failure. But the truth? It was never about you being less, it was about systems built for one narrow idea of “normal” and crushing anyone who didn’t fit it.
The real stupidity is forcing every brain into the same cookie-cutter system, then punishing people when they don’t fit.
Here’s the point: stop borrowing other people’s “normal”, and figure out what conditions your brain thrives in. Chaos, silence, night owl hours, stim toys, colour-coded lists - whatever it is, own it. That’s your blueprint. Because “normal” isn’t the safe option, it’s a lie. Brains aren’t uniform, they are messy, chaotic, different, and pretending otherwise is the real weakness.
